Pants on Fire!

A recent break-through in the field of stress management promises stunning results for the often beleaguered and overwhelmed Peace Corps volunteer community.
In the past, researchers and psychologists have advocated the therapeutic benefits of tranquil indoor activities such as knitting.  But new evidence has cast doubt on the efficacy of such endeavors, especially in equatorial climates.  As one Rwanda PCV reported, "Knitting is very calming.  I have 27 sweaters.  Then I step outside, and I have 27 personal saunas."  Researchers have found similar pitfalls for hobbies such as origami, recreational plant cultivation, and bagel making.  Determined to find a solution to the growing problems of tedium and frustration, researchers took a hint from early man.
"Fire,"  states one researcher.  "Fire revolutionized life on earth.  Just think of all the myths surrounding its creation.  We thought, if fire could help our first ancestors in so many ways, why not put a modern twist on it?"
Project Prometheus was officially launched in Rwanda last month, and the results thus far have been promising.  One volunteer, who wishes to remain anonymous, has agreed to give her testimony under the name PCV Smith:  "Well, I was going through kinda a rough patch a while back, when I heard about this experiment.  I looked into it and thought, why not?"
The premise for Project Prometheus is simple--some might say primal.  In the project's proposal, researchers state: "life is often filled with situations beyond our control.  Why not burn away your troubles?"
PCV Smith agrees:  "I had my doubts.  But the first time I tried it--wow.  Burning up my trash, watching all the useless crap I've acquired in my life fade away into ashes...yeah, that felt good."
PCV Smith entered Project Prometheus at Level One, which comprises burning paper and cardboard.  Within days, researchers sensed that she was ready to progress to Level Two--Plastics.
"It was great," she admits.  "As a kid, we had a woodstove, and my parents always told us not to burn plastic.  This is like a belated teenage rebellion.  And it makes pretty colors."
This is, in fact, one of the purported goals of Project Prometheus: "..to allow participants a safe place to dispose of their physical, personal, and emotional trash...as with sexual promiscuity, you run the risk of getting burned, but at least there won't be an embarrassing rash."
Of course, there are critics of Prometheus' methods.  Greenpeace recently launched an online "Chain Prometheus" campaign, citing the environmental damage caused by recklessly burning plastics.  And doctors remain skeptical about whether or not the project's short-term mental health benefits will outweigh the harmful effects of repeated smoke inhalation.
Despite these naysayers, Project Prometheus has found a home in over 20 countries.  And PCV Smith has no intention of quitting:  "I'm almost up to Level Three--Batteries.  There's no stopping me now!"