A Public Service Announcement

I think that it has happened to all of us in Rwanda.  Your phone rings at 4:30 in the morning; you blearily answer it only to find yourself being yelled at in incomprehensible English.  You hang up and check the number.  It's not one that you know.  Then it hits you...you've been NARGed.
Nonsensical Anonymous Repeat Greeting (NARG) can strike anyone, anywhere, at any time.  Don't be fooled into thinking that you are safe.  Anyone can be a victim of a NARG.  Take this real-life testimonial, as recounted by one brave survivor of a brutal, unexpected NARGing:
    
"I was walking home from the market one beautiful Friday afternoon, enjoying the cool breeze and the scent from the gently swaying pine trees.  The sun was just beginning to sink behind the ridgeline...basically, it was the kind of afternoon when you really feel at peace with the universe.  Then my phone started ringing.  Well, I was expecting a call from a friend later that evening, so it didn't even cross my mind to be suspicious.  I dug my phone out of my pocket and saw that the call was from an MTN number that I didn't recognize.  I remember that the last two digits were 88.  Something, some little voice inside my head, whispered at me not to answer.  But I guess I thought I was safe--who expects to be NARGed in the open like that, in plain view, with the sun still shining?"

The harrowing events that followed can serve as a cautionary tale we must all take to heart:

"I can still recalled almost every detail of the NARG.  I hit the answer button and said, 'Hello?'  The voice on the other end shouted at me, 'Are you so okay?'  There was no static--he might as well have been standing right next to me.  I managed to stutter out a feeble 'y-y-yes' before he exclaimed 'Thank God!' and hung up.  I was left standing stunned and speechless, his words and the hollow beep of the ended call echoing in my head.  I was too shocked to move.  Somewhere in the distance, a goat bleated."

As painful as this account is, it presents us with a textbook NARGing, one we can all learn from.  There are three (3) main points we can draw from this lesson:
1.  When in doubt, wait it out.  NARGs often happen when the victim is distracted.  In this example, the victim was expecting a call from a friend, thus  rendering her more likely to answer her phone, even to an anonymous number.  But remember, the classic NARGist will usually call many times in a short span.  Has the same number called you 15 times in the past five minutes?  Chances are, the caller is attempting to NARG you.  Wait for a text message offering some form of identification.  This is one of the surest methods to keep yourself safe from a NARGing.
2.  Speak the language, spare the anguish.  Answer your phone in Kinyarwanda.  This throws the potential NARGer off balance and allows you to gain the conversational upper hand.  Let's review the dialogue from our case study:
        Hello?
        Are you so okay?
        Y-y-yes...
        Thank God!
Most NARGers operate under the assumption that their victims only speak English.  Most NARGers do not speak English.  By speaking in Kinyarwanda, you may be able to downgrade the NARG to a mere AARG (Annoying Anonymous  Repeat Greeting).  While the effects of an AARG can still be debilitating, most people agree that AARGs are far less devastating in the long run.
3.  Keep it secret, keep it safe.  Most victims have only met their NARGer briefly or--chillingly--not at all.  The NARGing community is more widespread than many of us would like to acknowledge. Numbers are passed from person to person, to the extent that you could walk right by your NARGer and not even know it.  Don't let this happen to you!  Just because you sit next to a person on the bus for twenty minutes, you are not obliged to give him your number.  By limiting the number of people that have your contact information to those people with whom you actually desire contact, it is possible to dramatically reduce your likelihood of being NARGed.

So let's learn from this example and work together to create a NARG-free world!  Spread the word, my friends!  Just don't call me about it.  Chances are, I won't pick up.