It's raining. Again. I have discovered, quite by accident, a surefire way of judging the probability and duration of an afternoon storm. If, by two o'clock, the humidity has helped me to achieve 'fro status, then yes, it will rain before dark--but in one torrential, half-hour downpour. If there's a good deal of frizz in the morning, then it will drizzle on and off for the entire day. And if my hair actually looks normal? Well, then I am most likely in Kigali, having recently washed (and thoroughly rinsed) my hair with water that doesn't have penguins lurking in its chilly depths.
An umbrella is essential in this country, no matter the season. My shoulders are constantly peeling from sunburn, no doubt helping to reinforce the myth that muzungu skin falls off when you touch it. And yet, I just can't bring myself to use an umbrella for shade purposes. Growing up in Yakima, sunburn was simply a fact of life. After all, it IS the Palm Springs of Washington. Hiding yourself beneath an umbrella would be the ultimate admission of defeat. Before I moved to Seattle, I could probably have counted on one hand the number of times I had used an umbrella--for its intended function, that is.
My umbrella here is in a shameful state of disrepair. The secret to opening it is to enlist the aid of some ignorant sap, then stand back with a ready supply of bandaids. I know I'll have to get a new one soon if I want to avoid being captured by the rain for extended periods of time. My options are, unfortunately, limited to:
-The Painfully Plaid Print
-The Giant Beachball Motiff
-The Assault Against Victorian Sensibilities
The first would make an excellent tribute to my Scottish ancestry, but it emits a faint and alarming odor of haggis when opened. The second is certainly colorful, but do I really want astronauts to be able to spot me from space? And the last...well, do I really need a parasol that is pinker and frillier than any underwear I have ever owned?
So, loyal and occasional readers, I have an immodestly selfish proposal for you: tell me which umbrella to buy. Two weeks from today, I will be in Kigali and can make the necessary purchase. I'll even post an action shot with the umbrella on this blog so y'all can see exactly what you've done to me. Choose wisely. I'm going to look ridiculous no matter what, but at least this way I can shift the blame onto someone else!
